Space Ramblings

Why Ron Paul is like Forrest Gump

As most people know everyone loves Forrest Gump. They love Forrest Gump because he represents the simple American virtues of mispronouncing basic words and having a naive and good hearted belief in human goodness. Ron Paul supporters try to pass Ron Paul off as a political Forrest Gump, a simple goodhearted man who wants to set Americans free of their oppressive government. And in many ways Ron Paul does resemble Forrest Gump, if Forrest Gump hated black people. Unfortunately for Ron Paul, Forrest Gump actually liked black people. This means that Forrest Gump is nothing like Ron Paul and would probably punch Ron Paul in the face if he were real. If Ron Paul were real that is. Even as a fictional character Forrest Gump is still more real than Ron Paul.

Now I’m not saying that Ron Paul is mildly retarded. There’s really no way of proving that just because Ron Paul speaks slowly, says a lot of stupid things and keeps on pretending that he doesn’t notice all the Neo-Nazis who are supporting his campaign. There could be many reasons why he acts like this. It could be because he’s mildly retarded. Also it could be because he’s a liar and just dimwitted. It’s hard to tell. I think the Ron Paul for President in 2008 campaign should tell people that he’s retarded as this would get them the sympathy vote. Also that time when Ron Paul said that 95 percent of black people are criminals wouldn’t be so bad, because people would just nod understandingly and say, “What can you expect from the boy, he’s just plain retarded.”

Overall I would vote for Forrest Gump before I would vote for Ron Paul because Forrest Gump’s foreign policy of playing ping pong and rescuing wounded soldiers makes more sense than Ron Paul’s foreign policy of stealing ideas from Noam Chomsky and using his magic powers to make terrorists leave us alone. Also Forrest Gump took care of a girl with AIDS. Ron Paul delivered one black baby and won’t shut up about it every time someone points out that he’s a big giant racist.

Some Ron Paul supporters will take issue with my supporting Forrest Gump over Ron Paul because he was retarded. I would like to point out that Forrest Gump is still smarter than every Ron Paul supporter. Ever. Combined.

How do I know this? Easy. Even Forrest Gump would never vote for Ron Paul.

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Comments
  • Troy November 5, 2007 at 11:16 am

    This is one of the stupidist opinion about Ron Paul I have ever read. You should be ashamed of yourself for assuming he doesn’t like black people. Do your research and you’ll find out this quote was discounted as being a credible source a long time ago!

  • O_Deus November 5, 2007 at 12:59 pm

    The quote was never discounted. Years later when Ron Paul found the quote embarrassing, he claimed that some mysterious unnamed person snuck the article into the four page newsletter, which Ron Paul himself never had time to read in between his busy time in Congress voting no on everything

    that’s a long way from disproven, more like a cock and bull story

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