Space Ramblings

When Mother Earth Goes Crazy, We Go Crazy

U.S. rocker Sheryl Crowe has a message for the world and she’s not afraid to share it: our planet needs saving and any odd way of doing that will do.

“One of my favorites is in the area of conserving trees, which we heavily rely on for oxygen. I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting.”

Apparently we can only save the earth by creating a totalitarian state that limits our use of toilet paper. In such a world I predict the people with the poopie pants, will envy the dead.

She continues in an encouraging tone, saying this is a challenge we can all live up to. “I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required.”

And except where we have to take a jet plane to perform in Australia… conserve people, conserve! Sheryl Crowe needs to fly around the world to lecture people on global warming. Stop wiping your bums. Sheryl needs that wasted paper for her concert flyers.

she writes. “I have designed a clothing line that has what’s called a ‘dining sleeve.’ The sleeve is detachable and can be replaced with another ‘dining sleeve,’ after usage.”

“The design will offer the ‘diner’ the convenience of wiping his mouth on his sleeve rather than throwing out yet another barely used paper product … I think this idea could also translate quite well to those suffering with an annoying head cold.”

“Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating,” Sheryl writes

Yes, by a team of trained psychiatrists.

Her first performance on the tour was at Southern Methodist University in Dallas, Texas, some 2 weeks ago, where she told the audience Mother Earth needed their help. “Mother Earth is a living organism and when she gets sick we get sick,” the singer said.

And when Mother Earth goes crazy, apparently we go crazy and begin plotting to hoard toilet paper

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