Space Ramblings

Top 10 fan rejected TV Guide suggestions for ‘fixing Star Trek’

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This week’s issue of TV Guide featured a selection of readers’ suggestions for fixing Star Trek. Unfortunately some suggestions were deemed too controversial ‘out of the box’ and were censored by the editors of TV Guide.

John Mansur: Everybody loves monkeys. Every time I watch an episode of Star Trek I think of how much better it would be with monkeys in it. For instance in The Crossing instead of the Enterprise crew being possessed by wisp aliens, they should have been possesed by monkeys. It would have made the episode like twice as good.

Andrew Lewiston: There’s one thing and only thing that can save Star Trek. Captain Sulu. Paramount had its chance to approve the Excelsior series and they failed. But it’s still not too late. Assuming that Sulu in the original series was actually much older than he looked, he could still be alive during the current series as an infant. A  super-intelligent infant who takes over as Captain of the Enterprise when Archer dies in a freak dog decontamination accident.

Jean Tyler: Star Trek originally used to be about tolerance and embracing diversity but the refusal to have a gay character on 5 Star Trek series contradicts that entire image. To compensate Star Trek must now make 5 of Enterprise’s cast of characters gay immediately.

Samantha Limon: The reason Star Trek isn’t as popular as it used to be is because during the Original Series there were only three networks and now there are six. Tthe only answer is for Star Trek fans to band together and destroy FOX, UPN and the WB by any means necessary.

Warren Mitchell: With all the conflicts and hatreds in the world today, what Star Trek needs to do is teach tolerance by bringing back the aliens who were half white on one side of their faces and half black on the other. I know before that episode I used to hate people who were half black on one side of their faces and half white on the other but after that episode, I didn’t hate them nearly as much anymore.

Terrence Bach: Star Trek needs to be more realistic. Every time somebody dies on Star Trek it always looks so fake. I think that when somebody dies on Star Trek, they should kill him for real. I bet that would get great ratings.

Dana Weiner: Star Trek’s greatest flaw has been a fear of addressing religion. DS9 tried to change that but it didn’t do nearly enough. I think the Star Trek crews should all find different religions and address world events by constantly arguing and fighting to the death over which religion is better. Eventually when one religion wins out they could get a new mission of going around the galaxy and forcing other people to join their religion.

Michael Wilson: Four words. Bring back Gene Roddenberry. I know he’s dead but isn’t that what Ouija boards are for? He can rap once if he wants Enterprise to pursue more socially relevant episodes and rap twice if he wants the entire cast to wear miniskirts.

Rick Engels: The producers have spent too much time placing profits before quality. They need to forget profits entirely. Star Trek should be done on a non-profit basis on PBS.

Harold Mosley: It’s become clear on reading these suggestions that fans know how to run Star Trek better than its producers do. So why not have a Star Trek series with a mostly gay cast headed by Captain Sulu wearing mini-skirts while constantly fighting off monkeys on PBS with Gene Roddenberry communicating from the spirit world as its
executive producer?

How much worse could it be anyway?

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