Space Ramblings

They’re Communists, They’re Communists in Space

Chinese astronauts are considering the creation of a space branch of the Communist Party of China (CPC). Even though the growing space nation is not a participating member of the International Space Station (ISS) project, the country hopes to be able to one day create its own permanent space station.

The Chinese astronaut corp now has 14 members — all communist party members — and the Communist party only requires three members for a government application. “If China has its own space station, the taikonauts on mission will carry out the regular activities of a CPC branch in space in the way we do on Earth, such as learning the Party’s policies and exchanging opinions on the Party’s decisions,” said Yang Liwei, China’s first astronaut. “If we establish a Party branch in space, it would also be the ‘highest’ of its kind in the world.”

So it’ll be Communism on drugs?

The idea of Chinese Communism in space is ironic because there isn’t even Chinese Communism on earth anymore. If Chinese Communism in space operates anywhere similarly to Chinese Communism on earth, the astronauts or taikonauts will shortly be displaced by bulldozer crews working to erect a new lead based toy factory for export to Wallmart.

You have to wonder who the Chinese Communist party is kidding by this point. China’s Communist Party has redefined Communism as embracing industry and private property. China has become one of the top capitalist powers in the world. The only part of Communism still remaining in China is some of the formalism, the uniforms and the nationalist tyranny of minorities and the underprivileged. Philosophically China has replaced Communism with a form of Capitalism that retains the uniforms and the pretense and jettisons everything else.

They’re Communists, They’re Communists in Space. With Russia turned fascists, Cuba’s Castro on the verge of death and China turned capitalist, it just leaves Venezuela and outer space for communism. Oh yeah and Charlie Stross.

At least they already have a theme song.

They’re Communists, they’re Communists in Space
They’re Communists, they’re Communists, against the Human Race
Space Communists, Ho!

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