Space Ramblings

The Death of SciFi on the SyFy Channel

Great news, the SciFi, oh sorry SyFy Channel has a full slate of new shows coming up. New reality TV shows. Yes for everyone who really wished that they could get cooking shows, home decorating, big brother type housemate shows and paranormal shows without actually switching from the SyFy Channel, your wishes have been answered with quality productions like these.

Marcel’s Quantum Kitchen

Utilizing the science of cooking, Marcel’s Quantum Kitchen stars one of America’s most notorious chefs, molecular gastronomist Marcel Vigneron (Top Chef). In each episode, Marcel and his new catering and event company will be hired by a demanding client to produce an extraordinary celebration or event. Based on the client’s requests, Marcel will dream up a theme and cuisine for the event, which range from a fairytale graduation party and a Goth-rock fashion show to a ribbon-cutting ceremony for a new subway line. He and his team of party planners and chefs will tap the depths of their imagination and culinary talents to create everything from the immersive decor to a delicious menu that emphasizes Marcel’s unique brand of avant-garde cooking.

No, this is actually not one of my parodies. The SyFy Channel is running a cooking show. And trying to pretend it’s somehow SciFi by sticking the word Quantum in there. Which is not exactly truth in advertising, unless there’s some sort of cooking at the quantum level involved. The real question is why? I mean I get that your average TV executive has the brain of a mollusk and thinks Scifi programming means monsters from outer space. And he wants to capture some elusive high spending demographic that he can peddle to advertisers. But this is like spending a lot of money to develop an electronics retailer as a brand, and then selling fish in the back. It just doesn’t make sense. And alienates the core audience.

Force of Nature

Force of Nature follows the life of Ariel Towne, an average guy who just happens to be a Feng Shui master, as he interweaves contemporary, practical solutions with ancient mystical philosophies to help his wide range of clients achieve their goals. The show will tap into Ariel’s unique ability to translate a misunderstood, controversial discipline into an accessible tool relevant to virtually any client, situation, or space from personal homes to restaurants, stores, and even sports arenas. With Ariel as the guide, viewers will peer in on clients who are grappling with compelling, relatable problems – and desperately in need of Ariel’s help, and will be inspired by the amazing transformations that Ariel facilitates.

So a home decorating show that tries to spin it with a Feng Shui angle, something that’s more ABC than SciFi.

Paranormal Files

From Dimitri Doganis & Bart Layton, the acclaimed creative team behind “Locked Up Abroad”, this tense, filmic and high-octane drama-documentary series brings to life the stories of people who have lived through paranormal experiences that defy explanation. Using the mixture of intimate first-hand testimony and grittly realistic drama that production company Raw is known for, Paranormal Files will take the audience into a world turned upside-down by extraordinary and terrifying events

Oh no! A ghost! No wait, it’s a coathanger. Oh no it’s a coathanger’s ghost! Let’s go to the infrared.

The Dome Experiment

Throughout history, social scientists have been studying “nature vs. nurture” and the great debate about what makes us a civilized society. The Dome Experiment will test the boundaries of Human Nature. Twelve test subjects from all walks of life (the leader, the worker, the entertainer, the provider, etc) will enter “The Dome”, a completely sealed bio-environment. Relying on each other for all of their daily needs (food, shelter, entertainment, security), they will face a series of challenges and experiments designed to expose the true nature of humanity. The results will be a fascinating look into the fragility of learned human behavior and will answer the question: what plays a bigger role – genetics or the environment?

The Dome Experiment is a production of 3 Ball Productions.

So it’s Big Brother with a fake Biodome. And damn it, Pauly Shore isn’t even in it.

My suggestion, just change SyFy Channel to “The Same Crap Everyone Else Airs But With Quantum or Dome In the Title Channel”

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