Space Ramblings

Stargate the Ark of Truth review – Why did they ever cancel this show?

Stargate: The Ark of Truth

I probably haven’t watched a Stargate episode in years from back in the day when they were still fighting the Go’auld, if that’s how you spell it. Stargate was never really my cup of tea, but they had a good cast headed up by Richard Dean Anderson. By now though they seem to have replaced RDA after the actor wanted to move on with a guy who could take acting lessons from the cast of Baywatch. Add on an annoying female cast member who looks like Deanna Troi’s drunken older sister and the cast synergy is gone. So are the Goauld who have been replaced by the sparkly Goauld, namely energy beings from another galaxy who have armies of human worshipers, instead of snakes who have armies of human worshipers. Big change, I know.

So now apparently the Ori are dead but their followers are planning to invade Earth. So General Beau Bridges read a DS9 script or two and decided to send off earth’s only starship off to another galaxy to search for a magic Ark of Truth that convinces everyone the Ori aren’t gods. Instead of the earlier plan to blow up the Supergate between the galaxies. Brilliant plan, I know.

Then along comes an evil ex CIA operative who doesn’t think this plan is such a great idea. In fact he actually wants to blow up the Supergate instead to keep earth from being invaded. Obviously this is a stupidly practical plan and everyone hates him for it. Now the Supergate is actually cool. And apparently Earth now has the Defiant, I mean the Odyssey, a starship with a cloaking device and transporters. Looks like someone’s over at Stargate command decided to remake DS9’s The Search after all.

Now the team reaches the Ori galaxy and find the planet where the original ancient enemies of the Ori buried the Ark of Truth. Evil CIA guy unleashes Replicators to destroy the Ori, a stupid plan but still less stupid than Captain Hasselhoff Jr’s “Let’s Hope We Find a Magic Ark In Time to Save Earth” plan. Of course Captain Hasselhoff instead unleashes the Replicators, which are a bunch of evil tinkertoys shaped like spiders that I never found impressive, on board the ship.

Well if you’ve ever seen one of the 300,000 episodes of Stargate you can figure out what happens next. The team on the planet gets captured and taken to the evil honcho. The ship is overrun and results in a fight to the death. The CIA guy gets eaten and reanimated as a Replicator who absolutely refuses to die no matter what anyone does to him leading to some silly MST3K moments as a poorly animated CGI skeleton keeps advancing on Captain Hasselhoff.

So when all is said and done, the Odyssey is surrounded and Captain Hasslehoff Jr offers his surrender, but the Ori legions of simplistic religious metaphor keep firing because they hate him nearly as much as we do. A Prior shows up on Earth, along with 4 warships. In essence evil CIA guy was right and everyone is doomed because they didn’t blow up the Supergate.

Meanwhile in the Ori Vatican, which is just bare rock and looks like every other Stargate set, there’s one Ori left, who is also Deanna Troi Sr’s daughter, and wants to rule the universe. Of course she doesn’t destroy the Ark of Truth or do anything wacky like separate her enemies from a weapon that can destroy her. No she leaves them in the room with it. You figure out what happens next. Well the culmination of this is that one of the Ancients battles her and she and the Ancient both turn into colored red and blue frisbees and smack into each other. No honestly that’s what happens.

So why did they ever cancel this show again? Yup, got it in one.

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  • Custom avatar
    Abdo October 18, 2012 at 7:54 pm

    I almost think they had a ptrtey good idea they might be cancelled and wrote this episode to have each character get some level of a goodbye.Was it what I expected or wanted. No. But it was fitting to the show. As you said, it would have been a nice season finale episode. I’m even okay with it as a series finale though I’d like to know what the writers had in mind for the continuation/endgame. As a franchise closer, though I’m actually split. In some ways I think it works, but I’m still disappointed.I’m not sure what you meant by uncomfortable scenes with Rush. If you mean his final scenes, yeah, but they played them perfectly, I thought. Those were ptrtey tentative moments as Rush does something uncomfortable for him acknowledge someone else’s talent. And simultaneously, Eli is doing something uncomfortable himself acknowledging his own talent. And both of them avoided hubris, I thought, which was ptrtey cool to see. Reply

  • Custom avatar
    Aflles October 20, 2012 at 10:59 am

    I have to admit, I zoned out of SG about the time we started senieg the Asgardians regularly. It had become too much repetition with a new species and too campy. I tried to like Atlantis, I really did, but just couldn’t make the leap. But now, SGU has caught my eye. It does seem to have the edgy feeling in the photography. I have to admit, I have not seen it yet, though it is set to record on my DVR(set it last night). I hope this is a series that can draw new followers in, not just provide more fodder for the old fans. Let’s face it, some fans will eat up anything with the SG tag on it. I grew up with Sci-Fi as a fixture, in the TV I watched, the books I read, and the movies I went to. I look forward to senieg if this is the kind of show that will get Sci-Fi the viewership it deserves and gets the WWE crap off of SyFy.

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