Space Ramblings

Smallville 7×03 Fierce review

For those just joining us Lana is back and for the most part Clark doesn’t seem to care too much about it or the episode doesn’t because instead of focusing on the return of Clark’s love for seven years now that they can be together, we’re focused instead on Kara entering a beauty pageant so she can fulfill her destiny and prime purpose for the series, which is to walk around in a bikini on television in the hopes of keeping the young male demographic watching. Smallville had enough restraint to wait until Season 5 with Exposed to do the same with Lois but I guess viewership is too unstable to depend on them to wait around an entire season for the girl to take her clothes off.

The story, such as it is, involves the evil Charlie’s Angels who enter beauty pageants while pulling heists, officially the dumbest plot ever. Chloe calls them white trash cat burglars, all the more confusing since one of them is black and you’d think that three tall models arriving from afar to enter a small town beauty pageant would be about the worst way to go on disguising your presence while pulling a major crime but then again we’re not the writers of Smallville.

Kara, played by Laura Vandervoort and her leather face, not only develops an instant crush on Jimmy leading to the sort of horrific Chloe-Jimmy-Kara love triangle that will bore thousands, but decides she wants to enter the pageant even though a minute ago she had been focused on finding the mystical crystal of superpowers. She’s picked up teenage American slang from watching WB Reality TV Shows (yes that’s actually said in exposition) and is now indistinguishable from say a talentless model who can’t act and looks like her face is made of shiny silicon.

So the usual things happen. Clark contrives a new way to get exposed to meteor rocks (how exactly did meteor rocks get so many feet under a sidewalk?) and Superannoyingirl whines a lot. Yes her superpower is whining. And I’m sure that as the episodes wear on, she’ll find new reasons to forget her clothes and become a dumber and more annoying and blonder version of Lois.

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