Space Ramblings

Rick Berman Gives New Interview Revealing Secret Enterprise Season 2 mid-season Wedding Spoilers

star trek enterprise a night in sickbay

“Fans have been talking about Archer being lonely and we didn’t want to repeat the mistake with Janeway, keeping the Captain celibate, and so Archer is going to get married about halfway through the season. Because we care
about making the fans happy,” Brannon Braga explained while cleaning his teeth with one of Gene Roddenberry’s finger bones.

“It’s going to be a grand wedding.” Rick Berman chimed in. “A Vulcan ceremony as Captain Archer marries Porthos. Fans have noticed Archer’s close relationship with his dog before and when the Enterprise crew visits a planet where the aliens marry their housepets, Archer will realize that he was being narrow minded and that the certain special someone was already in his bed every night.”

“Of course we’re going to be playing this for comedic effect.” Brannon Braga explained while leaving obscene messages on Les Moonves’ answering service. “There will be pre-wedding jitters when Archer is uncertain about going
through with the ceremony and Porthos comes down with a bad case of space fleas, but love will triumph in the end.”

“And if you enjoy this idea, you should see what we have planned for the Romulans.” Rick Berman added while driving around at night and looking for more graves of original series writers to urinate on.

“We’re sticking exactly to continuity, except that the Romulans are going to be introduced a bit earlier, and they’re going to be felinoid cat people, instead of Vulcanoid and they’re going to be explorers traveling the galaxy in search
of a giant catnip planet. Also they’ll wear disco clothing like Austin Powers, funny top hats and monocoles like Mr. Peanut and speak in Portuguese like my houseboy.

“But the fans have nothing to worry about. We know what we’re doing.”

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