Space Ramblings

More Fun With Consumerist’ Whiny Yuppies

After hearing the tragic tale of Marty who wanted three months credit from Blockbuster because the movies in his Blockbuster queue got erased and the mean Regina was very mean to him, we bring you more Consumerist Yuppie Tales of Horror. That’s right, just after Halloween too.

Under the tragic headline “Charter Doesn’t Care If You Can’t Watch BBC America” is truly a horror we can all relate to, right up there with Darfur and the broken kitchen sink. Like most working class Americans who daily fear the prospect of missing out on Torchwood and Hotel Babylon and the other British imports on BBC America that are too stupid even for PBS to air, this is a story that fills us with true empathy. Oh wait, Charter doesn’t care if you can’t watch BBC America and neither do I. Man up and get over it.

After a long long novel in which we begin with the time of Charles Dickens who needed to get his Babbage fixed, we wind up with;

“I have a TIVO HD that uses two cablecards. On 9/27/2007, I realized that channel 196 (BBC America) was not working on either card…I am in an extremely frustrating position. The channel still does not work. I have no idea when it will be fixed. Whenever I call the only number I have for Charter, I get a representative who has no idea what they are talking about and, usually, tries to send a technician to my home, even though I have been told there is nothing a tech could do.

My advice kill yourself. Clearly a world without BBC America is a worth not worth living in. Make sure to blame Charter in your suicide note. And when you do kill yourself, dress up like Dr. Who for extra credibility and hang yourself using the cable wiring.

And then there’s Lindsey Case who wanted both Wireless internet and a Mac leading to the following tragic tale of yuppie horror Qwest Can’t Get Wireless Working Because Macs Are “Practically An Obsolete System”

The thing I don’t get here are the scare quotes. Macs have been obsolete since the 1980’s. Macs are a specialty system for snotty people and Justin Long fans and people with too much money and no knowledge of computers.

During the month of June I called Qwest over nine times, and was repeatedly told in both polite and in rude terms that the problem was my Mac, not Qwest. During one call to Qwest, an employee told me that he could get it up and running in 30 seconds if my computer were a PC. When I asked him if any of his colleagues were trained for Macs, he told me that hardly anyone uses macs and Qwest should not have to train its employees in a practically obsolete system. He then transferred me, against my will, to the apple support line.”

Bravo Qwest, if more companies had the courage to treat Mac owners this way, maybe stupid kids fooled by commercials that show dancing shadow people and annoying guys in hoodies preaching the virtues of an overpriced and useless computer system would know better.

This means that 1-800 numbers cost minutes on my plan, yet if Qwest employees had been trained sufficiently in both Macs and PCs, I should have only had to make one phone call, and thus not go over my minutes.

Solution

1. Get a normal phone

2. Get a normal computer

Should Qwest employees also be trained on Amigas on the off chance someone has one?

My house has switched to Charter and they had us up and running immediately. The one time that we have had a problem, Charter came to our house, and fixed it for us, free of charge. They did not force us to stay on the phone for multiple hours, or try to tell us that it was our computer’s problem.

Yes but do they have BBC America?

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