Space Ramblings

Katie Couric Trapped in a CBS Made Prison

As CBS news continues to take its rightful place just above Univision’s own 6:30 world news broadcast La Mundo Est Destructo Paris Hilton Nudismo Basuro!!! slowly from the candy striped walls that shield Katie Couric’s mind from the horrors of the world, the realization begins to seep in that just maybe possibly this wasn’t such a very good idea.

Katie Couric admits she sometimes wishes she hadn’t made the move from NBC’s “Today” to the “CBS Evening News.”

“Of course,” she said in an interview with New York magazine. “I’m human. I’m not going around `dee-da dee-da dee.’ I have days when I’m like, `Oh my God, what did I do?’ But for some weird reason, they don’t happen that often.”

Probably because the constant supply of Percosets and Percodans that Les Moonves supplies her with on a daily basis with her morning coffee manage to kick in.

Under new Executive Producer Rick Kaplan, the “CBS Evening News” is a more traditional hard-news evening newscast in the mold of its predecessors and competitors.

Had she known that would happen, she said, the job “would have been less appealing to me. It would have required a lot more thought.”

Yes why would she have bothered coming on board a newscast, had she known it was going to be a newscast instead of a chat fest. Of course moving in Rick Kaplan, responsible for the phony CNN Tailwind documentary, who has burned more bridges than Lloyd Bridges, probably isn’t the best way for CBS to gain credibility.

“People are very unforgiving and very resistant to change,” the 50-year-old Couric said. “The biggest mistake we made is we tried new things.”

Yes trying new things, like a new hairstyle, a new skirt and turning a national newscast into Katie Couric’s Fuzzy Times with Friends. Sadly people can be so resistant and don’t appreciate the virtues of a national and world news half hour that’s a complete joke. Sad.

“I’ve gone through a bit of a feeding frenzy and there’s blood in the water and I’ve got some vulnerabilities,” she said. “This person who’s been successful isn’t so great, and finally she’s been put in her place – that kind of mentality. I think it’s fairly primal.”

Ah yes primal. From back in ancient times when neathedrals who had successful morning cave chat shows and then tried to do serious smoke signals and cave paintings but would dumb them down, would immediately have withering cave painting caricatures made about them.

However, Couric said she’s looking forward to doing more work for “60 Minutes” next season.

And Mike Wallace is looking forward to death.

“If it turns out it wasn’t a perfect fit (at the `Evening News’), then, you know, I’ll do something else that’s really exciting and fulfilling for me.”

Yes. I hear The View has an opening now that its designated crazy fat lady has moved on. Of course there’s always Roseanne but if Katie Couric begins drinking and gains 300 pounds and begins believing in 9/11 conspiracy theories, she has a real shot.

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