Space Ramblings

How to Host a Windows 7 Party

Microsoft has come up with the incredible amazing idea of having people host Windows 7 parties. But does anyone out there actually want to throw a Windows 7 party? The answer is maybe. Because Windows 7 is a moderately decent OS. It’s what a Microsoft OS would be, when Microsoft takes twice as much time to get it right, after screwing it up the first time. That of course makes for a great party theme. Who doesn’t love a second chance and Windows 7 is all about giving Microsoft a second chance, after Windows Vista ate your computer, revealed all your passwords to the IRA and sued you for paternity leave.

Use your Windows 7 party as a chance to try and fix the things you screwed up the first time around, taking inspiration from Microsoft which managed to fix Vista the second time around. Were you dishonorably discharged from the military? Reenlist and don’t take no for an answer. Did you run over a turtle in Arizona? Move to Arizona to raise turtles. Did you embezzle billions from your customers causing the collapse of the US economy. There’s an easy way to fix all that, throw a Windows 7 party. That’s right, because Microsoft making a decent OS for the first time since they released XP back in the dark ages when wizards riding on dinosaurs roamed the earth, is the perfect occasion for a party.

What sort of food should you serve at a Windows 7 party? Think transparency. Aero Glass is the big shiny feature of Vista and its less retarded adult cousin, Windows 7, so glass coffee tables, Crystal Sprite, Zima, and lemon ice cream should all be on the table. And since Windows 7 still comes with an annoying UAC nagger, be sure to come over and ask every guest who tries to take a sip, if he or she is really really really sure they want to do that. Because nothing makes a Windows 7 party perfect like giving them the full Windows 7 experience. So did you really want to read this post? Did you? Are you sure? Okay.

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