Space Ramblings

Get Lost

I know we all can’t wait until Lost comes back for Season 4 with less episodes than ever and more filler but until then let’s toss around some predictions of what will happen to our beloved and not so beloved Losties

Hurley will lose 200 pounds back in L.A. and join Scientology. Scientology will explain to him that the island is really full of Thetans. This will actually turn out to be the case. Unfortunately Thetans just means the Theta Theta Frat house which repeatedly mocks Hurley’s ragged appearance.

Jack will get a job at the Beardo of the Month club transplanting his magical ability to grow ragged beards to those unfortunates who can’t.

Kate will finally learn to play the piano, after she goes back to kill her mother for ratting her out.

Sawyer will live in a trailer park. Yeah that’s pretty much it. He’ll live in a trailer park.

Locke will replace Jay Leno and deliver grim monologues nightly about the horrors of the island. He’ll still be funnier than Leno though even if he’ll be handicapped by having a far smaller chin.

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