That’s right it’s that special special time of year when TV networks in fits of drunken rage, jealousy and congenital insanity begin announcing their latest offerings– the shows that are as likely to succeed as your brother in law who thinks it’s funny to get high and wave around a nail gun when he goes to work behind the counter at Dunkin Donuts.
The splashiest newcomer is “Back to You,” a comedy that Fox grabbed after a bidding war with other networks. Created by Steven Levitan (“Just Shoot Me”) and Christopher Lloyd (“Frasier”), the series will star Kelsey Grammer and Patricia Heaton as co-anchors of a local newscast who don’t get along off-camera.
Kelsey Grammer is funny– but in a very limited way and this has all the appeal of George Constanza Jason Alexander returning in Bob Patterson, a big ego driven performance that isn’t funny in the least. And of course I can’t stand Patricia Heaton. Besides if people want to watch this, can’t they just watch their regular morning shows instead?
To top that off– this doesn’t fit on Fox at all which has a shortage of real sitcoms, especially workplace ones and won’t click with its under 30 audience. In other words– Kaboom.
“K-Ville,” a new drama about the New Orleans police department in the days after Hurricane Katrina and shot on location, will air behind “Prison Break” on Mondays.
Really– how much of a series can you make out of 150 dirty cops stealing stuff from stores before running away? Network note: But can we throw in a butt kicking heroine? Even if she didn’t really exist.
“Kitchen Nightmares” is an American version of a British series featuring chef Gordon Ramsay of “Hell’s Kitchen” riding to the rescue of troubled restaurants. It will be matched up with “Are You Smarter” on Thursdays.
In other words yet another take on a show no one wanted to watch. Seriously network executives, no one is going to watch reality TV shows about troubled restaurants. The only people who would watch a cooking show want them to be nice– like Martha Stewart (minus the prison time) just give it up already.
Fox’s midseason offerings will include new dramas “The Sarah Connor Chronicles,” based on the “Terminator” movies, and “Canterbury’s Law,” a legal drama with Julianne Margulies of “ER.”
Moves to cable for the former– second canceled after four episodes. What is Fox even thinking? Another boring law show not created by David E. Kelley and starring an aging actress on a channel targeting a young demographic? Why even take this as mid-season?
As for Sarah Connor Chronicles– TV spinoffs of movies rarely do well and this seems like it belongs in syndication between 12 and 1AM on weekends.
On the comedy front, the network plans to add two shows. One is “The Return of Jezebel James” from “Gilmore Girls” creator Amy Sherman-Palladino and starring indie film queen Parker Posey and Lauren Ambrose of “Six Feet Under” as sisters. The other: “The Rules For Starting Over,” produced by the Farrelly brothers and starring Craig Bierko (“Boston Legal”) and Rashida Jones (“The Office”) as divorcees seeking new loves.
Farrelly brothers haven’t been funny in a long time. I don’t expect that to change. Amy Sherman Palladino will churn out another Gillmore Girls– except with grown up sisters and the same audience will flock to watch but a WB audience ain’t enough on FOX and no time to grow the series. I expect cancellation.
Also on tap: “Reaper,” a comedy-drama in the vein of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer;” “Aliens In America,” a half-hour comedy about a small-town family hosting a Muslim exchange student; and “Life Is Wild,” a drama about a family that takes over a South African game preserve. It’s based on the British series “Wild At Heart” (which still is airing on cable’s BBC America) and will be filmed entirely in South Africa.
Don’t know but unenthusiastic… Stupid idea and canceled, terrible idea and canceled.