It’s that time of the year again. When snow falls from the sky, squirrels go hungry and the CW orders pilots that make even hungry squirrels cry.
Heavenly, penned by Richard Hatem (Supernatural), that has a supernatural spin to it. Here’s the logline: “A dedicated young female attorney and a former angel, Dashiel Coffee, only recently turned human, tackle cases at her legal aid clinic — she saves clients’ butts while he saves their souls. As an angel, Dash never experienced feelings or emotions, and his ‘awakening’ is a big part of the series.”
Whoever is responsible for this needs to have their soul saved. Because this is actually the worst thing anyone has ever come up with that doesn’t star Snookie. Wait, this needs to star Snookie as the attorney. Then the gates of hell would actually open up and swallow Los Angeles. Or probably Vancouver.
But wait there’s more
Cooper and Stone, from CBS Studios, focuses on two smart, young female detectives on Chicago’s North Side, equally adept at discussing fashion, music, pop culture as they are solving homicides
Yes, but do they eat ice cream after they solve a case? And how is David E. Kelley not involved? Will there be a montage of Cooper and Stone trying out clothes while someone is being murdered. Also will the soundtrack be available for sale. How else will anyone be able to hear the same payola songs that play during the fashion/murder montage.
The network has ordered the pair’s Hart of Dixie, about a New York City doctor who inherits a medical practice in a small Southern town inhabited by an eclectic and eccentric group of characters.
I can’t wait to learn more about this strikingly original concept. Will there be a scene where a farmer tries to pay the New York City doctor with a pig? Because that scene has never been done before and it urgently needs to be shown on national television. Will there also be a girl dating a redneck jock whom the doctor falls for? Because that too has never been done before and urgently needs to be done again.
The CW. Where television goes to die. It’s a new slogan, try it out.
But somehow no one will film CrocCop. That’s an outrage.