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Apple Feels threatened by Black People in Windows 7 Ads

The latest Windows 7 ad campaign featuring people who wouldn’t appear in Apple ads claiming to be PC’s and coming up with the idea for Windows 7, is reporting making the Cult of Mac feel threatened. Hoodie wearing graphic designers in Park Slope have begun tiptoeing warily around the billboards while clutching their iMacs to their Arcade Fire t-shirts. While at first many Mac fans mistook the Windows 7 ads for some sort of ironic statement, the realization has slowly crept in that unlike the new Yahoo ads, these are not actually ironic statements about the eternal suffering of man, but real ads for a new Windows OS.

Worry has also been spreading through the transparent cubicles of Apple Electronics Inc Etc, as Apple’s top notch marketing department and font specialists try to figure out how to fight back and watch an entire season pass of Flight of the Conchords at the same time. “We’re completely okay with black people,” said Apple’s director of communications, Bryn Mawr grad Holly Whistleton. “And here at Apple we think they have their place, dancing around while wearing iPods. But when it comes to using Macs, that’s something it takes a sexually ambiguous twenty something Harvard dropout to do properly.”

Steve Jobs however is back at work and on the problem. While Apple has categorically refused to actual black people in the ads, a crack team of Apple’s top researchers buzzed on smart drinks is hard at work developing an alternative to black people. “We at Apple refuse to go along with the old concept of black people. We refuse to be satisfied with that,” Steve Jobs reportedly said. “We want to develop Apple’s vision of what black people should be. Shinier, with Apple logos stamped on them and much more useful.” As his first move, Jobs put in a call to the KKK, whose shiny white uniforms match the Apple offices and product line so much better.

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