Aristide has been interviewed by the Rev Jesse Jackson, Congresswoman Maxine Waters and various journalists but now finally the whole sordid truth can be told in this transcript of an interview with Haiti’s former President Aristide by Janet Goldstein of Free Perspectives. See indymedia for a full transcript of the entire interview.
Note: in the interview the initials JG refer to the interviewer Janet Goldstein while JBA refers to exiled Haitian President Jean-Bertrand Aristide.
JG: First of all I want to express my sympathies on how you’ve been treated. Those of us still true to the real American ideals of liberty and justice for all, rather than the warped neo-conservatives, who have seized our government, sympathize with your plight.
JBA: Thank you, thank you. I am very grateful for this chance to relate my story to your audience.
JG: Yes many in the United States are very curious and concerned about the real story behind the events that displaced you from Haiti.
JBA: I am sorry, I am having some difficulties hearing your question.
JG: I said, many Americans want to know what exactly happened behind your removal from office as the only legitimate Democratically elected leader of Haiti.
JBA: Yes, yes. Thank you very much .It is a difficult story to tell. Most difficult. But I must tell it so the world must know what Bush and his henchmen have done to me. What they will do to any leader who opposes them.
JG: Take your time Mr. President. Take all the time you need.
JBA: Very well. As I have said before I was confronted by the American ambassador who informed me that if I did not leave there would be killing and bloodshed. I was told that I was going to the Port-au-Prince airport to meet with journalists but there were no
journalists. Only one American plane.
JG: What was that plane exactly, Mr. President?
JBA: It was Air Force One
JG: The President’s plane? You’re saying that the plane of the President of the United States was at the Port-au-Prince airport?
JBA: Yes. That is it exactly.
JG: And you were brought on board this plane?
JBA: Yes I was surrounded by soldiers and marched on board the plane.
JG: You did not resist?
JBA: I could not resist. I was surrounded by armed soldiers. I have no
JG: Yes and who was on the plane? On Air Force One? Was President Bush on Air Force One?
JBA: Yes Bush was there. But first I saw many of his advisers. Colin Powell. Donald Rumsfeld. Richard Perle. Paul Wolfowitz. Dick Cheney.
JG: All of these important people were on board the plane?
JBA: Yes. Yes. All on board the plane.
JG: And what happened next?
JBA: The plane took off with me on board. I stated that I did not wish to leave and President Bush informed me that I had voice in the matter.
JG: Our listeners are of course interested in knowing what took place on board the plane once it was in the air.
JBA: I do not wish to talk about it.
JG: But it’s extremely important that people learn the truth.
JBA: Nevertheless. I tell you that I do not wish to talk about it.
JG: Did you speak to President Bush or any of his advisers while on the plane?
JBA: There was little speaking.
JG: So what did take place?
JBA: You wish to know what took place?
JBA: Yes. I will tell you what took place! They buggered me!
JG: You mean that metaphorically of course.
JBA: No, no metaphor. They bloody buggered me!
JG: They. By they you mean Bush and his advisers? Are you saying that you were sexually assaulted by the President of the United States and his key advisers?
JBA: Yes, yes. Assaulted. They waited till the plane was in international waters and then Colin Powell told me no law applied and
they could do anything they wanted to me.
JG: And that is when they, ahem, buggered you.
JBA: Yes, yes. How many times must I relate this incident over and over again. Even now in luxurious hotel room I cannot sit down properly. I must lie on my side instead like an animal.
JG: This is terrible. Absolutely terrible. I mean myself and my other colleagues in the independent media had talked often about the Bush Administration raping the world but we always meant it as a metaphor.
JBA: No metaphor! No bloody buggering metaphor. Actual buggery was involved I tell you.
JG: And Bush did this to you.
JBA: Yes, yes. Bush was first but the others all took turns.
JG: Did Donald Rumsfeld bugger you?
JBA: Yes, he buggered me. He buggered me twice. For shame I told him, you are a married man. You must not do this to me. I am the democratically elected President of Haiti and a man of God. Do not bugger me! For shame!
JG: This is terrible. This is an atrocity. This is a war crime. And also very ironic as the Bush administration is forbidding gay men and women from marrying each other and yet its top officials see nothing wrong with perpetrating acts of homosexual rape on foreign world leaders and dignitaries.
JBA: Yes. I told Bush as he was pushing my pants down, stop this at once or I will complain to the UN about this. But he did not stop. He said instead, bugger the UN.
JG: Do you know if he meant that as a metaphor or that he was intending to physically rape the UN as well.
JBA: How am I to know? Do you think I was thinking about the UN just then? No.
JG: You mentioned Paul Wolfowitz and Richard Perle as well as the Vice President, Dick Cheney.
JBA: Yes, yes all of them were there buggering me. Bush said to his Vice President that he should not participate in buggering me as he has a heart condition and the excitement might be too much for him.
JG: But nevertheless Cheney went on to bugger you, sir?
JBA: Yes, yes. He said, you only live once and what other chance will I have to bugger the only democratically elected leader of Haiti?
JG: And you protested against this?
JBA: Yes, I protested. Most loudly indeed. I said to them, for shame. You are buggering me as you have buggered my country. For shame!
JG: Well as we all know the Bush administration has no shame at all when it comes to its foreign policy. Not to mention the way Bush stole the 2000 election in Florida.
JBA: Bugger your stupid 2000 Florida election you stupid cow! What do I care about your stupid Florida election when I require a male nurse to accompany me to the toilet each morning?
JG: I’m sorry to hear that but sir you must realize the way that all these issues are interconnected.
JBA: No, no! I have had enough interconnecting. No more interconnecting! The pain! The pain!
JG: I’m truly sorry to have upset you.
JBA: It is nothing. I only wish to state that I continued to remain the only democratically elected President of Haiti and that I now wear an iron chastity belt around my nether regions for protection against Bush and his advisers should they return to bugger me.
JG: A very wise precaution Mr. President. One final question how are you paying for your hotel room now that you are no longer the President of Haiti in actual fact?
JBA: Bush, that bloody bastard, he left 50 million dollars by the side of the bed after he was through buggering me!
JG: I see. Okay thank you very much for this interview, Mr. President.
JBA: No I am not yet finished! I must warn the world! All you other world leaders who think Bush cannot bugger you! Bugger you he can and will! He has probably buggered Saddam and he will bugger many others if he is not stopped. He must be stopped before he buggers us all!!!!
JG: Yes, okay. Very wise words from exiled Haitian President Jean-Bertrand Aristide. We must all be wary of attempts by the Bush
administration to bugger us all. Thank you and good night.
If there are any more buggering updates to this story, I’ll be sure to post them.