Space Ramblings

10 Important Things You Must Know About Blogging In This Modern World

1. The blog is named after its inventor, Walter J. Blogg, who implemented the world’s first blog on the Babbage Difference Engine in the 19th century. Using the existing technology it took over a year to make a single post and there was absolutely nobody else to blogroll.

2. The blogsphere is constantly growing. Blogs already cover 2/3rds of the earth’s surface. Scientists predict a condition known as Global Blogging in which blogs will cover the earth suffocating all life on the planet.

3. Blogging has become an increasing source of wealth. Statistics show that the average blogger earned 0.011 cents from blogging using Google Adsense in 2006. That figure is expected to double to 0.022 in 2007.

4. The word ‘blog’ coincides with existing words in many languages. In Lativan, Blog is slang for ‘Explosive Diarrhea.’ There are no blogs in Latvia.

5. In Finland, ‘blog’ is a slang word for fornication. Blogs are extremely popular in Finland.

6. %33 of blogs contain nothing of any use to anyone whatsoever. The other %66 are worse. Don’t even ask about the remaining %1. Just don’t.

7. In previous centuries many people were under a misapprehension fostered by plays, books, movies and stories that other people’s lives were more interesting than theirs. The blog has performed a valuable service by disabusing them of that notion. As a useful side benefit, this is expected to lead to the end of all fiction, novels, films and theater as we know it.

8. Your blog does not like you. In fact your blog hates you. Mostly your blog wishes you were dead. Seriously.

9. Every time you make a post an angel dies. Every time you check your sitemeter, two angels die. Every time you check your trackbacks entire companies of angels die. Every time you use the word ‘blogsphere,’ a tsunami hits Indonesia.

10. There are no good blogging services. There are only blogging services that seem less frustrating and annoying than the one you’re using now… until you actually start using them.

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